The Arizona Sentinel

July 22, 2009

Finally the Global Governance we have all been waiting 4

Filed under: My Posts — thearizonasentinel @ 2:23 pm

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009. 

The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months. 

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President’s term. “We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). “We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted. 
  
Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination.  By the Council of Foreign Relations,  wantabe member Hillary Clinton.   Check the following , link this will scare the hell out of ya. http://www.thenewamerican.com/index.php/usnews/election/1447
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. 

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai  India, will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009.  Mr. Singh was born in the  United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at  Niagara Falls,  NY . Thus making him naturally  eligible for the position.  He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits. 
  
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the  US and  India , he will be working primarily at night. “Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center,” stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. 
  
“I am excited about this position.  I always hoped I would be President.” 
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either. 
  
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all.  “We know these scripting tools work,” stated the spokesperson. 

ABC has made an attempt for a interview at the Dell Call Center in India. 
  
“Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about.” 
  
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. 
  
Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. 
  
A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama’s extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.  We’ve learned that Obama has applied for Citizenship in Canada, retroactive, so he can get health care for his family.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] post: Finally the Global Governance we have all been waiting 4 Tags: america, being-made, Career Jobs, india, Layoffs, office, president, today-announced, united, […]

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    Pingback by Finally the Global Governance we have all been waiting 4: Outplacement Layoff — July 22, 2009 @ 2:44 pm


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